Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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