i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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