maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
