i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
