Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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