on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
