who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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