My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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