The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
