My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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