I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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