Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it's like heaven, but drunker
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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