Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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