I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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