I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
