Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
