And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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