hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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