her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
