every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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