Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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