When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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