Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
one might say we're banned from that church
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
