ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
