areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
