Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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