Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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