I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
