Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
