You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
