She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
