if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
