Who did Billy Mays play for?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
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You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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