did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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