Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
