CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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