My nipple is on Facebook.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
