none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
