is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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