I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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