Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
