Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
