We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
