She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize