Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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