That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
