If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
