He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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