I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
