I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
