haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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