Don't make out with my wife yet
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
