My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
