Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
