If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
