Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
