I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
