I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
