whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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