so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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