I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
where am i from again
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
