Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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