Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
