I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
