I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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