i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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