Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
