We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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