how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize