Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
